Saturday, August 11, 2012
Into the Lair of the Rat
Above is a police sketch of the scoundrel known as Dojo Rat.
Just back from extensive tour of the United States. In my many adventures of the Pacific Northwest I had the opportunity to meet and train with a fellow blogger who has challenged me and questioned my sound advice over the years. His blog is far more popular than mine.
Here is his accounts of the meeting. Dojo Rat's tall tales
I had three missions to accomplish when I met this man.
1. Drink him under the table
2. Whoop him
3. Flirt with his wife
Mission 1 - Drink him under the table
Never challenge a man with his own saloon - which he has. The beer flowed from the bar, and I estimate a Mongol horde could not challenge this man in a beer-off. It was like a tale from the legends. As my memory serves me he had a guitar in one hand and a barrel of beer in the other. As he drank he sang. Later as we gathered around the BBQed carcass of an animal he killed, he spun tales of his meeting with Bigfoot. I ended up sleeping in the bar, as he ran off into the dark of the night - presumably to howl at the moon. All the Bigfoot tales gave me a weird sleep though. Was that Bigfoot roaming through the woods, or was it the Dojo Rat?
Mission 1 - we will call a draw
Mission 2 - Whoop him
On a picturesque battle field next to a lake we engaged. We kept it relaxed and slow. I could feel power in the old guy. He caught me in a string of balance breaks. He let me catch a few also. Later I cheated and caught him in some foot sweeps so he whacked my head 5 or 6 times to let me know he could cheat too. We played for a couple sessions over the course of a few days. He is a solid player. He feels like he could still handle about any scrap, even if it took him 6 months to recover.
Mission 2 - draw
Mission 3 - Flirt with his wife
Dojo Rat must have some good mojo, because his wife is far more beautiful and charming than he deserves. I figured this would be an easy mission, but alas she was impervious to my spell. I suspect she is not into charming and handsome men, hence I stood little chance.
Mission 3 - FAIL
Overall the enigma that is the Dojo Rat is a fine fellow. He lives in a paradise, has great friends and a lovely family. He lives a blessed life. I am proud that I have had the chance to meet, play with and share a few beers with this fellow. I consider him a good friend.